On Eating Out - A Tale of Two Families

"See, and if there's 6 or more, we'll charge an extra 18%!
It's brilliant!"

Both my family and my wife's family live far away from the San Diego area, so when either set of family comes to visit, my wife and I are on the hook to find exciting things to do and fun places to eat (services that Yelp and I are happy to provide).

For meals especially, my family tends to have positive experiences. For instance, they were in town yesterday, and we ate breakfast at this charming little cafe. The food was delicious, it came in a timely manner, and the waitress even squeezed fresh orange juice for me after I had requested some and been told that they had run out. We also went out to dinner the night before, and we had a similarly excellent meal (in which we were comped a dessert).

However, when I go out to eat with my in-laws, we almost uniformly have a bad time, usually in regards to service.

Now, I know what you're thinking. If one family is always treated well and the other is always treated poorly, it stands to reason that each family is getting back what it's putting out there. I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about just this topic, and, honestly, I think both families are equally as friendly. While my dad is one of the most gregarious people I've ever met, it's not like my in-laws are sullen cranks. I really think both groups are pleasant and polite.

As an example of what happens when I go out with my in-laws, last week (yes, I've eaten out a lot in the last week -- both sets of parents were here on different days for different reasons) my wife and I suggested that we go out with her family to this restaurant that my wife and I had eaten at previously and had had a good experience at.

We went on a night that wasn't busy (I think there were maybe two or three other groups there, not counting the handful of folks at the bar). We called ahead for reservations (it's kind of a swanky place, and we were bringing some aunts and uncles in addition to my wife's parents), and this was our experience.

It took probably forty-five minutes to an hour for our orders to be taken.

The food was good, but it took a long time to come out.

Finally, the waiter refused to split up our bill, even though it was obvious that there were probably 5 groups that wanted to pay separately (the math portion of this comic is so, so right on). I assume this was due to the automatic 18% gratuity due to the size of our party, and if he had split the checks, that might not have come through. This event in itself probably added 30-45 minutes to our evening because we had to go back through the bill, figure out who ordered what, and assign each a percentage of the gratuity and tax.

I don't know, when I write it out, it might not seem so bad, but I was pretty frustrated at the time (first world problems, right?). Even though it was a leisurely-paced meal where the family was mostly concerned with catching up, certainly a three-hour-dinner implies something about bad service, doesn't it? Maybe I'm just being cranky, but when we pay close to $50 per head, I expect to have an easy-going, pleasant experience.

On the other hand, maybe I'm just over-sensitive because I especially want my in-laws to have a good time (you know, so they'll like me).

What do you think? Do any of you ever have consistently bad experiences with one group of people when you go out versus consistently good experiences when you go out with a different group of people? Am I just crazy? Let me know in the comments.

Photo by Seattle Municipal Archives.

Frugal Disdain from The Palm Restaurant

Two nights ago, my wife and I decided to take advantage of the fabulous Restaurant Week here in San Diego.  If you are unfamiliar with Restaurant Week, the basic idea is that a bunch of restaurants offer two or three course meals for a somewhat discounted price, the advantage to the restaurant being that new people will come in, try the food, and maybe become regulars.  After deliberating through our options, we decided on The Palm restaurant (mostly because of the 9 oz. filet mignon).

While the food was delicious, I can't really say I plan on going back.

The reason?  Our waiter made us feel like we were about five inches tall.

Saving Money Doing What You Like to Do #2 - Pot Luck Dinners

I'm going to let you in on a little secret about myself: I love food and drinks. I suppose you might have been able to guess that with one of my first posts being about wine tasting. However, eating out all the time very quickly uses up all your hard earned cash. What is a responsible young adult to do?

My wife and I hang out with two couples on a regular basis. We used to do this every Friday night, but over the last month and a half or so, it's been tougher to be consistent, but it is a goal that we all enjoy and for which we all make time. It has been said that food brings people together, and this is the case with our friend group. Generally, we all head over to one of our homes, and we have dinner and play a board game or two.

When we first started, there was a bit of stress that accompanied this venture. It seemed very grown up and proper to have the hosting party provide dinner, but this was quickly repealed as buying food for six people is a bit of a strain, especially when compared to the two people for which each of the couples normally buys. In addition, one of the couples each lives with different families, and so they wouldn't really ever be able to host, which seems unfair too.

So, like so many Southern Baptist churches, we decided to make our events pot luck style. While we certainly could plan it a little better (sometimes we end up with three main courses), this plan of attach is generally very preferable, at least for my wife and I. My wife loves it because when I cook, I tend to use a certain combination of spices that end up making most of my dishes taste similar. I love it because one of our friends used to work at one of the fanciest restaurants in San Diego (Bertrand and Mr. A's), and so I am always looking forward to whatever it is that she puts together.

Generally, each couple gets away with paying $10 or $15 dollars, and we all get to enjoy a three course meal. There have even been times when one of the couples brought a big bowl of ramen noodles because it was all they could put together in time, so they certainly got off a lot cheaper (and it was delicious anyways).

In short, food is good. Friends are good. When you put them together, it can be a fun and inexpensive way to spend an evening.

If you liked this post, you might also like "Saving Money Doing What You Like to Do #1 - Five Easy Ways to Save Money on Ebay."